A Witty Retort

This comment was such a home run that I thought it deserved a post all its own. Good on ya, KMJ! I'll have to come up with a Northwestern version, but I'll only post it if it is as cool as your's.

I Loved You, California

by KMJ

I Love You Southern CaliforniaI love you, Southern California,

you're the greatest *state* of all
I love what you call winter feels the same as spring and fall.

I love you Fountain Valley; your smoggy mountains I adore.
I love your pristine beaches (the toxic run-off I’ll ignore).

I love your flower-children; I love Hollywood and Vine,
I love you, California; you’ve arrested this heart of mine.

I love your metered onramps – I love your carpool lanes,
I love your endless gridlock, and inability to drive in the rain,

I love your greyish sunsets, love your skies of azure brown,
I love you, California; even when my asthma keeps me down.

I love you, Land of Face Lifts, with your beauties bought and sold,
I loved you in my childhood, and I'll love you when I'm chronologically old
-although I will still totally never have wrinkles or cellulite or thin lips or unwaxed legs or natural pigmentation or baggy, saggy parts or anything else that resembles normal age - it just isn't natural!

And I know if I sell my house right now, a mansion I could own

In any place I want, except my sunny California home.

****Sorry, but it was begging for it. Respectfully, your expatriate Californian friend.